Crap, not pregnant. Hopefully Paul won't be outta town when I ovulate in May. I think we're going to take a break from the fertility clinic for a while and try on our own again. It feels like every time we try with them, they screw with my hormones and it doesn't work. I think I'm over the PCO hump to be honest. As long as I hold off weight gain and keep taking my metformin, I'll be fine.

I've been out of training though. My knees are killing me! They've been bad sense before I started Muay Thai. Last year I went to my orthopedist and he sent me to physical therapy. I learned the exercises and the knees got better, to where they only really hurt after a heavy workout. Well, I stopped the physical therapy and was doing great for a while. Then I got out of the habit of doing the kettle-bell work out...BAD BAD BAD! I think the kettle-bell was what was keeping those weak muscles in shape. Now I've got to start all over again with the physical therapy. :P Ooh well. I've not been 100% sense starting in the martial arts, but my knees are an ongoing issue and they frustrate me to no end!

I know I've mentioned having had a bad experience with a co-worker in the past. It's made me very sensitive to any kind of work place affetion. There's this older fellow at work. He's kinda slow and socially inept. He gives everybody the creeps. He sets off all my alarms without even having to open his mouth, then he insists on being over affectionate verbally. I mean, I don't mind hearing "you're a great employee," or "you have such positive energy, it's like a breath of fresh air," and such things. But when he says "Hey there, beautiful lady," or "There's my girl, that I adore," it's way over the top of what I'll tolerate. I know he doesn't mean anything creepy by it, but it freaks me out. He does it to the others, so it's not special treatment. My boss, John, to whom I am as close to as one professionally can be to their boss, got through a year and a half before he slipped and unknowingly called me "honey." Why can't this other guy address me by name alone? They've talked to him a little about it (on my behalf because I was too upset) in the past and he didn't do it for a while. He started up again last week and did it again today. I know I need to address the issue myself, talk to him directly. I'm not afraid of him, he's not going to retaliate. In fact I'm sure he'll be horrified that he upset me and probably worry about getting in trouble for harassment. The problem is that when he says those things to me it shoots me directly into my "red zone" and if I try to address the issue then, I'll only say awful horrible mean things to him. Then I'll get into trouble. John and I are supposed to have a meeting with him tomorrow about a project that we're all working on, so I may say something to him then. We'll see. It just pisses me off. :P

Well, I took a pregnancy test this AM and it came up negative. It is still a little early to give up hope. I've already decided that I'll get the more expensive ovulation test kit next time. I think the kit I had this month was defective or contaminated. I'll pay a little more for the individually wrapped test applicator thingies.

I've been taking it easy with the jiu-jitsu due to the possibility of being pregnant. It's been nice having healing ribs as an excuse to not roll or train too hard. I'm back 100% at Muay Thai though. I did a two day seminar with Ajarn Surachai "Chai" Sirisute. It was GREAT! I have HUGE bruises from it.

Going to DC to visit my bro this weekend. Will probably do some BJJ while there. Taking my kettlebell with me.

Fingers Crossed

The doctor says it looks as though I did ovulate. They drew some blood and said they'd give me a call if it says otherwise. I've started to notice a couple of things that make me think we may be in luck, but I don't want to start gushing about them and have it turn out that I'm wrong.

Went to Muay Thai. It was a good class. I didn't walk out gassed but I was sweaty. I have been working in the mixed class which is mostly beginners. I like it though. You learn a little bit when you teach somebody something, remember something you forgot. And it's just nice to give back some of what that particular community has given you. I made it though an entire BJJ class, which makes me very happy. I didn't train hard, I was the odd person out, but I did all the techniques and didn't hurt myself. I'm feeling good about how my ribs are healing.

Didn't go as planned

Well, Saturday we did the IUI. Rather, I did IUI. Paul just had a root canal and has been having a very hard time sleeping, eating, existing with the pain and couldn't get out of bed to attend. Yes, I was hurt, but he was for all purposes pretty damn sick. He felt pretty damn guilty so I left him be. I never had an LH spike, and Monday morning my belly started to hurt. The nurse I talked to at the clinic said that it could be that the follicle that was to release the egg may have turned into a cyst. Such things come with the hormone disorder I have, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Although it has been a VERY long time sense I've had a cyst and the few times they saw any on ultrasound I never felt the pain most women associate with them. So this whole thing is kinda weird. I have an ultrasound this morning, so hopefully they'll be able to tell me what's going on.

YAY!!

Ok, I told Paul that I don't want to tell anybody about what's going on this month in terms of fertility, however I don't think I can stop what I've already started here. I feel that the few people that know about this blog can keep it to themselves. Besides, if this does work, I'll probably end up having to ask some of the neighbors to help with injections when Paul travels. What's going to be hard is keeping the info from my sister in law and her hubby as they are living with us currently. I just don't want family prying and getting their hopes up. I don't want random friends to know and ask about how things went if nothing comes of this.

So, I had the ultrasound yesterday. They said I had six follicles on my ovaries, one of which was massive and ready to release an egg, I just wasn't having my LH surge. So they gave me an Rx for something called Ovidrel, an injection that would trigger ovulation in a set period of time. I had to take it at 9PM. I tried SO hard to give it to myself...but I just stood there in the bathroom unable to make myself do it. I had to call Paul (who was high on pain killers after his root canal) down from the TV room and have him do it. Besides, he needs to participate as much as possible. He's going to be giving me his own "personal injections" over the next few days anyway, he may as well give me the Ovidrel while he's at it! We have our appointment for IUI on Saturday morning. Everybody send prayers, happy thoughts, good vibrations...whatever you believe. I have a good feeling about this time.

Dr appts

Going for an ultrasound this Thursday. They're more or less going to look at my ovaries to see if I'm getting ready to pop out an egg. Wish me luck!

Paul on the other hand is getting ready for substantial dental work over the next two weeks. He's gotta have a root canal and a bunch of fillings. The dentist was flabbergasted when Paul expressed the desire to have it all done by the 23rd as he is getting ready to go out of town again. That's the problem with a job that one must travel for. Not only is it hard to be around to get your wife pregnant, but it's also damn near impossible to schedule regular maintenance.