About two years ago, a co-worker made some unwelcome physical advances and I froze up. I'd always had this plan in my head if something like that were ever to happen; kick to the groin, eye gouge, and run. It's really not a BAD plan, quite effective really, however if you're a gentle soul and you've not rehearsed it, you're not likely to pull it off. I'd go into the emotional ramifications; the self doubt, the guilt (yup, felt guilty), and the shame of having to tell your husband the next day...but that's not what I'm getting at here. I had never been in a fight, never intentionally harmed somebody, never had a harsh word to say, never rocked the boat. I was completely unprepared to defend myself, verbally or physically. He put his hands on me, but thankfully that's all he did. It could have been far worse. It cemented my resolve to explore the martial arts.
I'd really only started my trek into infertility at the time. I don't kid myself and claim to be an expert, but when the Doc told me that losing weight would go a long way to making for a successful pregnancy, I did start looking into work outs. At my heaviest I was probably 29o lbs. That's a LOT of weight for a 5' 5" body. I'd always been rather muscular under the marshmallow fluff, but that was in no way an excuse for getting as bad as I was. Mind you, the last twenty lbs were gained during an accidental and tragically short pregnancy, it was still a ridiculous amount of weight to gain in an eight week period. I think I had whittled my way down 15 lbs through a drastic change in diet, but it came off at a pace that would make snails impatient. I'd tried working out from home, but I never managed to keep up with it. I tried yoga. *yawn* I fell asleep in more than one class. It's not for everybody. I'd wanted so badly to try martial arts, but I'd never had the guts. I'd even shopped around for schools. Then the workplace incident happened and I pretty much decided it was time to get over my insecurity and just do it.
They did an "intro" to go over the basic strikes, so I could get a feel for it. Then came a group class. I was the only overweight person in the room. I felt like a fish out of water. But all these beautiful, physically fit people around me did not treat me like I had plague. They worked with me. They didn't make me feel like I was in the wrong place. So I signed up. I don't think anybody expected me to stick with it, but I did. They pushed me to challenge myself. There were times where they pushed too hard for my heavy body to keep up, but I didn't stop. Whenever another big girl started a class, I went out of my way to at least talk to her, tell her how wonderful these people are. How there isn't that gym/jock mentality. They would start classes with gusto, then they would disappear. Don't get me wrong, it's not for everybody, but I was always disappointed when it happened. Made me question how much longer it would be before I just gave up too. But I love, love, love Muay Thai. As long as I have the money and the time, I will continue on. I've been with my academy for almost two and a half years now. I've been in the advanced group for over a year and people call dibs on being my training partner before class even starts. It's not because I'm good at Muay Thai, it's because I'm loved. Who'd have thought that something that by it's very violent nature would foster such affection between it's practitioners?
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