It's been a while sense I wrote anything here. Paul and I didn't get the opportunity to conceive this month because he was on travel...no surprise there. That's half our fertility problem right there.

I had an appointment with a genetic counselor on thursday to discuss my Factor V mutation. She explained everything I already knew; that I only have one mutated gene, not both (meaning I got the bad gene from ONE parent, not both), that there's a 50% chance that I could pass it on to offspring, that if the offspring cannot pass on the mutation if they do not have it, that I've a higher risk of having a baby with birth defects (if I don't get enough folic acid because my body doesn't absorb it as well) or having a baby with down syndrome...etc. She told me something I found very interesting, however. During our conversation, I mentioned that I'd lost my previous pregnancies in the first trimester. She told me that miscarriages attributed to Factor V happen in the second; that most first trimester miscarriages are due to chromosome problems. I'm no idiot, but I can't explain what she tried to tell me about chromosomes and the order they should be in, how many there should be, but she did tell me there is a test. I called my doctors office to see if they'd run a Karotype test and they hadn't. I'll have to call my insurance company to see if they cover the test. It would be nice to know if my trying is futile. It would save us a lot of time and grief if it turns out that my genes are just not capable of being passed on. Either way, we'd be able to plan the next step accordingly...be it finding a donor or to keep on trying the way we have.

I haven't lost any weight in almost a year. My body is stubbornly refusing to go under 220 lbs which is irking the hell outta me. I don't know what it is...I diet, I work out, I've taken the diet Rx the doc gave me, why can't I progress? I would be happy if the scales were slowly working their way down. Just a couple pounds a month is all I'm asking, it's not unhealthy. I've lost most of my will power to diet, just because my body has adapted it's ability to retain in response to the 1600 calorie diet (any less would not be enough to support a person as active as I am). I know, I've tried. I've changed up my work out routine in hopes that a different type of exercise would kick my metabolism in gear. So, what's going to happen to me when I can't work out like this anymore? Be it pregnancy/motherhood, or my heavy body breaking down from being worked so hard, or old age...someday it will happen. I don't want surgery, but what else is there left?